:: I'm Out of My Mind ::
I'm out of my mind!!!
You must be wondering what is it?
I say I'm out of my mind!!!
It was Missions service today. On my way to church, I sorta have an estimate figure in my mind. Then I was sad that that's all I can give. But then....something sorta make me wanna do something crazy. Yes, CRAZY. I'm graduating soon, hence I should hopefully get a job asap. Hence my financial constraints should come to an end.
But I still don't know how much... The figures run into my mind, and I accept some and reject some. Till it time for me to alight the bus and walk to church.
During the service, I was happy to interprete the sermon that speaks to me in my current situation. Use what you have in your hands!! God has already placed the seed in your hands.
This was what I wrote:
God has already given me wisdom for my studies. Use it to excel in the exams with good grades.
God has already given me favor and wisdom to obtain a good job. Use it to get that job!
Towards the end, when it was time to fill in the cards, the figure you wanna pledge. I was super excited. But I still got no amount leh....crazy... In the end I wrote this:
"I'll be graduating this May, and I trust that God will provide me a full-time job to fulfill this faith promise. Hereby, I pledge to give 50% of my 1st income by July 2009. Amen!"
And then I submitted it to the celebration host. Then I thought I would have caused the ppl counting the cards, a headache when they see my card. So sorry. I don't have any figure, but I knew it has to do with my 1st job.
Then Ps.Dom read out all the values, and then he went to those cards without values. My card was the last to be read, and I almost wanted to head for the toilet as I was on high-tide. Then I heard him said this, "Haha.. I like this. Here it says, I'll be graduating this May, and I trust that God will provide me a full-time job to fulfill this faith promise. Hereby, I pledge 50% of my 1st income by July 2009. Father bless this life with a job, supply her till she have more than enough!".
Then I realised only after service that Agnes (who sat beside me) also wrote something similar, "I'm in a job transition. I pledge to give 50% of my pay cheque when I've found a job"
Wow...I was just telling her that we can go look for job together, since we're going into the same field. So zhun! It was really crazy for me to write that last few words, "by July 2009". Alamak!!
God, You know what I wrote right? Please show me to that job! No one can help me but You!
posted at [8:25 PM]
_____________
:: What has happened so far? ::
Arranging venues for studios...whosh...headache. Very hard for me to be sandwich between the complains/ "intense suggestions" of the different ones. Finally thank God, Vick has found a friend's condo in Braddell (near macritche). Which I guess it's now very much more centralised.
Revision has been crazy...planning the timetable is even more crazy. Actually the most important thing is not to plan when to cover that subject, but what you do in each revision. Revision these days have at least been better, more constructive and productive.
I actually wanna thank God, since Monday, which I did thank Him individually by whispering to Him in a lecture. Haha.. I thank God that even in these while when I'm still single, unattached, and worried that I would remain on the shelve...He has always sent people around me to encourage me. He has also provided many "brothers" around me, even when I didn't have any bf currently. These brothers helped me out with areas that man are better at...although they can only remain as my friend/my brother. When I finally finally found Mr.Right, I know I still have my brothers around together with Mr.Right.
God, today I could see clearly what I really want in life. Living in those days of F and M is like a total walking-to-hell scenario. Today, I finally saw what I really enjoyed and would prefer to do all my life.That's to worship you, to meet people, the nations and rejoice with them, to teach them what worship is all about!
I can finally kick off F and M totally with meaning! Not just becoz ppl told me it's wrong.
posted at [12:27 AM]
_____________
:: Competition ::
Looks. Your looks. My looks.
I had dinner with Clare yesterday, since she's working at PL, while I came early before the full dress. Managed to catch up and chatted abit. She complimented the PL dancers for being very smiley and everyone was smiling. When she mentioned about the Adam dancers, I wasn't sure. I thought they were "supposed" to be "better", as mentioned by the few. I don't know. However, Clare's judgment shouldn't be that off, since she was a ballet dancer and had drama experience in productions over a USA, plus her being musically-inclined with Dip in Piano. I'll just do like what she always will say. Accept the positive. Don't have to think about comparison and its credibility.Actually...she also mentioned that I do look quite fierce during the dance audition, just like how I commented on someone else. She said I look so focused and super competitive. Alamak... That's not the point I wanna stress man. 
This is just a research on how the Jewish do their head-dress in those days. This picture has this head-dress which I'm most satisfied, among the other pics I found via Google Image. Haha.... I'll try to do mine to look like hers.
posted at [12:40 PM]
_____________
:: Wrap Up ::
I'm quite tired. Rehearsals aren't the element for my fatigue. I'm tired..so tired after studying for long hours. Almost everyday I spent time in front of my books from 9.30am to 2am. It's like 17hours? Although in between I do have 1hour breaks for meals, siesta, bath and 1hr of leisure for 9pm drama on Channel 8. So it should be precisely 12hours I spent daily. The heart is willing, but the body is weak. I can't help feeling lethargic and sleepy and having headaches when I'm studying. However, these days I just force myself and move against those waves of obstacles. It is painful to do so. I had to do so because I'm on a tight schedule. Exams are here very soon.During one of the consultations with Mark Harris, he mentioned something about welfare economics which led us to this example he made. He said that brighter students take lesser time to study & grasp the knowledge than compared to those who are weaker and who needs to put in extra effort and time to get the same grade as the former. I guess I belong to the second class of group. I'm not born to be so bright, and I believe that it does not hinder my destiny. Those who are bright would have a different destiny laid ahead. I'm a person who needs to slog and spend extra time than others would need, so as to achieve. This year, I've been searching for my gifts and how do I apply it. It's said that in order to contribute something, you must be very good at it. If I would to offer audit advisory, I have to be extremely good at my skills to detect corporate issues to management, financial planning, economic outlook, etc. If I would to enter in teaching of a skill, I have to be very good at the skill (be it with a recognised cert or without; for performance is the best testimony); for eg. Dance instructress.Insurance companies are on a lookout, and they have been calling me up for interviews. But I really don't know if I wanna be one. If I enter that line, I've alot more to learn before stepping in the fully. Then I would have forfeited my chance of obtaining my CPA.
I really don't know if I should just start applying for accounting positions and forget about auditing. I should just wait till exams are over. I've done alot of applying anyways. I believe that God will lead me to a job to provide for the family, and I need not plan so much or fret on that. Just leave it!
This guy above; I dreamt of him last night. Last night's dream was chaotic. I dreamt that I ran into this aunty at the traffic light across my flat, who scolded me for blocking her way. And I scolded her back for wrongly accusing me as it wasn't me that caused the obstacle, but there was a barricade around the traffic light and it is natural that anyone would be blocked by it. I scolded her back and she wasn't happy. And it led me to scold her even more. I wonder what was wrong with me in that dream.....
The later part of the dream, after the quarrel, I headed for the toilet. And wierdly, this guy in the picture (Jae-Hee), came into the female toilet and held my hand and pulled me out to somewhere to speak to me. I seriously can't rem what he was saying but could rem that he went really close to my face to say those words, and I woke up.
Phew....that was really distracting.
Anyways, I'm excited for Family Day. To see the people move with the music and to see them having fun playing. It's always a pleasure to see others enjoying and in action. Rachael and I were practising the choreo for Every Move I Make on Friday. Although it's very simple, it's also very fun and cute. haha....esp to accomodate kids. Despite editing some steps, I believe that everyone wouldn't be so stress doing the song after all. It's gonna make them understand what it means to take every step in life with Jesus!!! Lean on Him!! When the actions are done, subconsciously in the mind, you're applying it. Amen!
I'm praying for a success in Family Day.
posted at [10:03 PM]
_____________
:: Dreams ::
A few days ago, I heard a full analysis of what dreams really mean to you over the radio of Class 95.0FM. The DJ went into explaining what it means when you dreamt that you're flying, that your teeth dropped out, that you're falling, etc. I was amazed how psychologically it means. When I'm flying, it means I've a sense of freedom, and also authority; especially when I can take control of my flight and move above buildings or trees. However, if you can't take control of your flight, and would always be obstructed by trees, birds, etc, this would mean that there could be certain obstacles in your life that make you feel that you can't take full control over it. As for why we dream that our teeth dropping out could be various reasons. One, it could be that we're very conscious of our appearance, bcoz teeth is the element of our smiles. Next, as we know that our teeth is used for chewing, gnawing, etc, it could mean that we're feeling powerless when they start dropping out. Over all these analysis, it lies back to our daily lives. Maybe we can understand our dreams and work on the situations that relates to them.Then today I recalled what have I been dreaming the past few nights... Coming to think of it, I started laughing. There was this night that I dreamt Katherine was a cashier in the bookshop, and I was so surprised when I visited that shop to purchase some stationeries. Haha... Then I realised that the entire Drama from CM was actually in-charged of that bookshop. There was Eugenia, Charis, etc. I was like huh...when I finally woke up and recalled all of that.
Then there's this another night where I dreamt I lost my temper on somebody when he mentioned something that I was still very frustrated about. And when I realised that he was fed-up for being shouted at, I was very remorseful immediately, and kept apologising to him till he finally forgave me. That reminds me of this typical Grace. Who would always easily be angered and anger people, but would be very quick to resolve the commotion.
posted at [11:17 AM]
_____________