:: Greatly Into Emotions or Greatly Affected? ::
Today's drama practice reminded of the scene I saw many years back, while I was still in secondary school, and how then I skipped youth services because I can't mix with the people around. Then I went with my parents to the "King and I" presentation during Easter then. It was Katherine then, who acted as the "adulterous woman", whom everyone wanted to stone bcoz she's an outcast in the society for she is known to be one who has slept with many men and commited adultery (which was a big woo-ha in the early days).
I remember this scene, which made me wept almost immediately. I felt so like the adulterous woman, not bcoz I commited adultery, but bcoz I felt as if I was the society-reject back then; where I can't find close friends, can't find belonging, and felt that whatever I do is always not approved by man. Then Jesus came to question the crowd, "Whoever who has no sin can be the first to stone this woman". Many times we see the mistakes, the errs of others, but we can't see ours. We hate others and we almost want to see their downfall. Then as we question ourserlves, we realised we're not that worthy to be in position to penalise someone else. When Duane Thia (acting as Jesus) came towards my direction and passed the stone to our cluster to stone the adulterous woman (Cherie), I felt that I might be as filthy as the she is.
While we were supposed act as an angry crowd, hurling accuses and shouts against the adulterous woman, I found myself saying this, "See that you're only regretting it now. Why did you do so in the first place?". Somehow, I felt as if I was saying it to myself. Each time I fall, or I did something wrong, I felt this same voice telling myself "Why do you only regret it now? Why did you do so in the first place when you know this would be the outcome?". When I hurled that remark to the adulterous woman during that scene, I felt tears were about to pour out. I felt that I needed to come to Jesus personally and receive His forgiveness and love and acceptance once again. That was how I felt many years back, while watching that scene in the congregation seat.
When Duane (playing Jesus) finally said, "See, there's no one here who is against you anymore. Your sins are now forgiven. Now go, and sin no more", I felt the incredible acceptance received all over again. I'm someone who would be entirely engrossed into dramas/musical/movies, that's why I avoid watching TV, which could make me emotionally tired. I remember in the story, the woman was accepted by Jesus, forgiven, and could moved on free. These can never be bought by money, and no man on earth can give that kind of acceptance where Jesus gave. Jesus, I'm coming back to You.
Apart from this scene, there was another pilates scene where I had to now hurl accuses on Jesus, which was the hardest to do so. I ended asking around, "Who is that man?", and Iryn asked, "Yes, what's he doing there?". And I don't know why I found myself saying this next, "Is he handsome?". Haha...and Iryn couldn't continue acting, and turned away giggling. Hahaha!! When the crowd became more active in hurling accuses, they ended up pushing the roman soldiers (who were blocking them from coming to the front) and the shirts of the roman soldiers were almost torn. Oh my...this was only practice. THen I ended up shouting nonsensically again, "The roman soldier needs a new shirt!", and everyone around me started laughing and Jerry stared at me. What was I talking about????? I was supposed to scold Jesus in the scene!! Oh my. After awhile, I ended up almost speaking in tongues as I ran out of words to scold, but my actions were like pointing towards Jesus looking fierce and angry. Can't imagine that.. I also had a great fun time pushing the guys in front towards the ROman soldiers so that I could be nearer in front to hurl more accuses. Haha.. Pushing ppl is so so fun!!! Till the guys turned back and complained. Hahahaha... During the hurling of accuses scene, I felt that I almost blurted out some vulgarities, bcoz my actions were so vigorously angry moves, pointing pointing, as if I wanna bash up the person for stepping on my toe in the MRT.
Linda finally ended the night's practice, and she asked everyone to find a partner to pray thru for Easter. Jane suddenly appointed me when Linda asked her who's her partner. I was actually quite afraid to mix around, and I already drawn back to my seat to drink water. I was just about to accept the reality that I might not have any prayer partner, and wow! Thank God, there's now Jane. Haha.. Jane, let's pray together!!!!!!!!!
posted at [12:23 AM]
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