Miss ConGeNiaLity's Chronicles

Sunday, January 25, 2009

:: I Can't Decide ::

Am I worrying too much again? Whenever it comes to massive Production, I'm always asking myself the question, "Should I stay put in my comfort zone as a singer in the choir again?", "Is there a new platform I can serve Him?".

After putting in so much of effort for the Father's Love audition for dance, going through dance tutorials from youtube, friends, etc....but I still didn't get in then. I was devastated and was in bewilderment. Perhaps because I relied on dance as another platform I can depend on after quiting taekwondo. However, 2mths after quiting taekwondo is no good for joining dance. Taekwondo makes one very stiff in the first place. Maybe that's why Linda was saying that I was very stiff during the Father's Love audition.

Now, it has been 2years since after I quited. I did so many things to improve on my own. I didn't believe I had the guts to go to Studio Wu's charity event, knowing that the school's the best dance studio in S'pore and the people there are very "zai..". Still so "gei-kiang" to go there for lessons with Jane, who has significant background than compared to me. When I was there, I was so scared, and was very conscious of the people standing at the door to stare inside and watch us dance. Standing at the back was the "safe zone" I supposed until the 2nd dance class made us all reverse and I became the 1st in the row. If I dance wrongly, the whole class can see! Faints.. That dance instructor used the song "Womanizer" at the start of the class to do 30mins of warm-up. And now the song is still in my head!!

Besides that, I have been on the secret learning journey. As in I went online to learn dance tutorials, peeped at dance lessons in my school (becoz I don't belong to the club), memorize Kat's dance steps during last easter and tried secretly elsewhere (and ppl asked if she taught me, and how come I know the dance).

After doing so much. Should I dance for Him? I guess the desire to dance for Him, and let people see His beauty from the dance, didn't come to me from no where. The desire was impacted on me firstly by Kat, then I progressed from there. But it took me 2years to grasp a hold of what dance really is. Then again, am I ready? In the chronicles of narnia, when Prince Caspain said "I don't think I'm ready", Aslan replied, "That's when you're ready, becoz you'll not rely on self but on Him".

On the other hand, Clare told me something which surprises me. How come she knows so much? I didn't really share with anyone. She mentioned that I do appear rather transparent to her. Haha.. Oh dear. Is that good or not good? She said, "I know you want a role to singing, not just within the choir, but as an individual role of singer (soloist). So on the 1st Feb, go for the audition and indicate to the person auditioning you that you want a role. But there aren't many female soloists this round, but you can try". I was like, "What? Clare..that's very gei-kiang leh!". And she said, "Yes, gei-kiang. That's what you always wanted right?". I was like, "Huh? How did you know that was what I want? But I do have a phobia for auditions leh". And she replied, "Yes I know you have a phobia, but try". I replied, "Huh? How did you know I have a phobia for auditions, when I never told you before?" and she replied, "You do appear very transparent to me. At least to me. I'm not sure about the rest". Huh...

Should I also go for the audition for soloists? I spoke to Pris today about it. She encouraged me to try, and almost scolded me for thinking so much. She said, "Just GO LAH!!". Haha.. I think I really need scolding to push me to do things arh. Haha..

Aiya...anyway, I have no firm grounds on banging into any particular area of serving. I was thinking of having shopping at the auditions. As in try different things, then see how it goes, without the mentality that "I must get into this or that". That's less stressful. And it would be quite fun. Can learn new dance moves, experience singing acapella alone and having ppl to hear you for the moment. Haha...

posted at [4:51 PM]

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Friday, January 23, 2009

Songs that I've written thus far

Be With You

In All My Life

This song is Chen Weilian's, which I tried to play and sing in another key. Sorry, it's a chinese song. Haha..

Clare encouraged me to write chinese songs, because my songs often sounds very chinese, becoz I've been listening to great chords from various chinese songs. Haha.. The modern contemporary chinese type which often goes down in their chords 1 6 45 3

posted at [12:54 PM]

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Thursday, January 15, 2009

:: My song on Youtube ::

I wrote this song last year. To remind myself that no matter how hard we try to search, we can never find something that satisfy us except God's love.

posted at [10:21 PM]

:: Affirmation ::

I don't know if this came timely. I always thought that my efforts are superficial and never would be recognized. I often look down on myself, because seldom has my parents praised me for my efforts.

Once in a blue moon then will I hear my mum telling my sister off that "your sister could be disciplined and study on her own. but you need me to chase after before you can get down to serious work".

Then came comments from Rachael, MinMin, my cell, etc who mentioned that I am very hardworking. I didn't receive that comment and just let it float away again.

Then came a lecturer whom I feared most initially, and wanted to give up totally till I realised that I wanted to do well solely for myself. At the start of the year, Adrain said this "Grace, I think you'll do well for MA, because you know what you're doing". I was shocked. After reflecting upon it, I really understand MA more than I understood FR. THen James, who was the lecturer for MA, told me this last year, "You did very well for your assignment, keep it up". I was like, oh really? Is that how he know my name, and started calling for me to answer his DIFFICULT qns in class?

Then today, Yanru told me something which I felt like crying, but just laughed through. She told me that James told her this, "Grace is a rare species, who's so hardworking". I was very encouraged, and definitely it would spur me to work on further. I will always rem what John ever said. When someone affirm you, it doesn't mean you're already there. You gotta work further and further on it.

James sees us, Yanru, Yangtheng and me as a clique/bunch. However, 3musketeers are sometimes not easy to handle. Two by two is much easier. James has also noticed that the 3 of us are not very together this year. I felt that's because Yangtheng is more attached to Xiaoming this year. Hence, there's an expansion of the clique. But I'm still alright with the rest. Our group has expanded to include people like Xiaoming, Tessa and Baoling. Haha.. On Thursday, there's an extra member who's crazy over THe Little Nyonya, called Brian, who joins us for FM.

posted at [9:07 PM]

Career Development Camp 9-11th Jan 2009

Here's my journey, through a camp, to go somewhere further. I'm changed!

Here's my roommate, YiShan, at Level 2 Room 13, at our Hostel. @Ulu Pandan SIM GE Campus

This is my camp group, and we're called the "Watashiwa"!! Here are the names (from the top left): Lily, Melissa, Ros, ME, Yanru, Yvette, Jeannie.

The group again....although some ppl are missing.

Complete Watashiwa group: Yvette, Lily, Yanru, Jeannie, Melissa, ME.

Another pic with my group.

Here's my bed in the hostel. It's raw mattress hence I've brought along my sleeping bag.

Here's my desk. Guess what? I brought my Management Accounting homework along to the camp and did them after the day's seminars and activities into the wee hours at 2am.

Here's how the seminar looks like. There's alot of interaction, hence explains the sitting arrangements.

The PAINTBALL FIGHTERS. From left: Sheena, Charmaine, Yanru, ME, Glauze. Do you find someone looking really familiar? Yes, Sheena was once a participant in the Campus Superstar I. She has a twin sister in the camp as well, and her name is Shermaine.

Here's how fierce we look..haha. Unconsciously we were smiling even when we're having our mask on. From left: ME, Yanru, Charmaine, Sheena, Glauze.

Here's the PAINTBALL FIGHTERS before the game.

After the game...

During the game:

Still posing for pics before the game....haha.

Still somemore pics before the game....I'm confused. Is this before/after the game??

Discussing for our fighting STRATEGY before the game, as we're fighting with real bullets against another team. I kinda felt that Sheena resembles Juliana Peh. Haha..

Yanru, me and Mavis.

The entire camp group picture..There are 40 of us, including guests from Singapore Banking and Finance team.

I still want my bed.....in the midst of the seminars. I missed DG...I miss my home, etc....... James always looks so happy in the picture (2nd guy from the left).

Here's the CSI game we played on the 2nd day. Waste of brain juice I tell you. And the case is somewhat similar to Ding Tang Dan An's episode.

Here's a pic of the Forensic Scientist in the Police Headquarters.

Here's the scene of the murder...looking quite real right? Except there's no bloodstains.

Still at the paintball arena listening for instructions and safety handling of the guns. I got a bruised arm on the right as I was shot during the first round of the fight. OUCH! It was REAL PAINFUL to be shot by a gun which speed is 280m/second. Luckily I was shot closely, so there's some distance to allow less pain. Now there's an ORH BAH KAH on the arm. Alamak...

I did this, and I promised myself never to do it again. We went to watch movies at 2.40am to 5am, and went back to the hostel at 5.30am. FAINT. I was DEAD TIRED after the movie and even throughout the movie. I'm never gonna do it again. Here's the girls, who still can pose when we're all so sleepy at 2am. BUT I was so surprised to see that there wasn't only us who were there at Orchard. There were so MANY people still around Orchard at the wee hours! I'm wondering what are these people up to. Too free ah? I only went bcoz I was in camp. AND would not do so on other occasions.

posted at [8:23 PM]

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Monday, January 05, 2009

:: Farmart and Children ::

A visit to FARMART.

Snap shots of parents and children.

Charlotte, ZhiGuo & Zoe.

P.Pete and Elisa.

Emma Joy Foo.

Emma crying on Roy's shoulders.

Emma holding onto my christmas present to Adeline.

posted at [3:51 PM]

:: Chalet @ Costa Sands 020109-050109 ::

Here are some pics taken during the chalet.

The family of FOUR.

ME. Finally having sometime for snap shots.

Celebrating Dad's birthday.

Rushing for the Management Accounting assignment at the Chalet. People stared at me when they walk past my unit and see me studying at the chalet, while they were happily bbq-ing.

Going for a walk on the beach.

The upper level of the chalet unit.

Evidence for no rest at the chalet. Busy doing assignment.

This is my studying area. Cosy right? I made full use of the mahjong table found beside the fridge for my study table. haha.

posted at [3:17 PM]

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Intro

Thank you to all who visits my blog!! My entries would be a mirror of my life stories. Some of the entries might not sound edifying. However, at the end of the day, He'll bring good.
If you're looking for one with a "perfect" life, you'd be disappointed. I'm still human afterall, living in the imperfect earth and imperfect market.
My email: servantgrace777@gmail.com