Thursday, August 28, 2008
:: Confused ::
I don't understand this feeling within me. Am I missing something? I feel so weak and tired. I feel I want something more? However, I don't know what do I want?
I'll be collecting my cheque at ADM Cocoa tomorrow. I'll be seeing my beloved colleagues and manager and friends there once again. I should be feeling happy and eager. However, I'm feeling nervous and uneasy. Why? Am I afraid of something or what's wrong?
I always have the mindset, brought from young, that everyone would detest me. Hence when I'm in a group of people who accepts me and is able to establish friendship with me, I find it hard to accept. I find it hard to believe. I would often doubt: do they really like me? do they have an ulterior motive? What are they going to do to me next?
Hence I always maintain a certain gap between everyone. I always felt that people might find me very irritating if I keep getting close to them, or I keep meeting them, visiting them, talking to them, msn them, sms them, etc. I don't know.
I'm God's precious daughter. He loves me for who I am. I'm not quite sure if others do the same? I always thought that only God loves me and the rest hates me. Perhaps it's another childhood barrier, where I'm often an outcast, until I reach the age of 15.
It has been 15 years. I've not lived out of it. When I receive praises, I sometimes don't know whether to believe in them.
Sigh. I wonder why am I writing this till the point of tears. I need to believe once again. I need to believe in Him to believe in me, then to believe in others about me.
posted at [8:11 PM]
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profile
Hi, this is GraceTan!!
I'm princess whom God has created!
A composer and coordinator in music. A choregrapher and coordinator in dance.
A child of God, serving His kingdom, and awaiting for Victory.
GraceeHeart
My name is Grace, but everybody calls me GraceeHeart. Well, can't help it..because i'm just Miss ConGeniaLity! shhh..keeping a LOW PROFILE!! sounds like an oxymoron? haha!!
My mission on earth is to live my Life to the Fullest: save lives, reachout to lives, be a good steward of my finances, education, relationships. But the main 2purpose on earth is to Love God and His people! My destiny is in His hands, where no demon nor alien can destroy it. It's one that only I am destined to fulfill it!! Amen? =)
EEEPS
no one can be my enemy except the guy with his surname 'tan' and an unrecongized English name 'sa'
and i dun like ttgmp!!
I Wanted
Graduate with a First Class Honours in BAFFT!! yay!!
Get Married soon!! to that, i'm reading Proverbs31:10-31 regularly to groom myself to be the Right Partner and a Noble Wife. This can be fulfilled!=)
Memories
*June 2006
*July 2006
*August 2006
*September 2006
*October 2006
*November 2006
*December 2006
*January 2007
*February 2007
*March 2007
*April 2007
*May 2007
*June 2007
*July 2007
*August 2007
*September 2007
*October 2007
*November 2007
*December 2007
*January 2008
*February 2008
*March 2008
*April 2008
*May 2008
*June 2008
*July 2008
*August 2008
*September 2008
*October 2008
*November 2008
*December 2008
*January 2009
*February 2009
*March 2009
*April 2009
*May 2009
For Laugh
What do u call somebody from US who went to the moon? Ans: Astraunaut. How abt someone else from S'pore who went to Mars? Ans: Sureornot. And someone else from M'sia who went to Pluto? Ans: Canornot. HAAAHA..