Miss ConGeNiaLity's Chronicles

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Thursday, May 29, 2008

Thank the Lord each morning as you wake up

The most dreadful thing has happened again. Being pressed down onto your bed, and struggling to get out. This time somehow I felt a "hand", big and strong holding onto my left hand, not letting go. I do not know how was it from the toilet did I get to my bed (in the dream), and that "hand" hasn't let me go. I tried struggling, praying, before I could finally get out of that dream into reality. It felt so real that even as I was awake, I didn't really know if I was. THe toilet, the bed, the surrounding were all the same, except for the atmosphere; which was very still and eerie.

This isn't the first time. And I guess I know it's because of my mistakes that I "brought" it back. I visited those places again: the restaurant, the "mdc", the roadsides, the "waters", the bookstores, the musical instruments store, etc. I wonder why each time these places which were NOT REAL actually appeared real to me. I can remember every structure of the building, the interior design, the interior arrangments of furnitures, etc. However, the faces of the people, seems unclear. They're actually my "control". It's time to end this fairy tale. NO ONE in there actually loves me, I made them so. I should come back to reality. Sometimes, my emotions itself might not be real in the fairy tale. It then reflects at reality, which confuses me at times, and I hence don't understand my emotions. At times in reality, I can't function especially when something bad happens. Becoz in the fairy tale I could always do it all over again; I could re-write the scripts. Although I often use the fairy tale to prepare myself for the bad times, and how I should react. However, they're all unreal. In reality, it isn't anything of that sort, at most there are a few similarities. I would still feel hurt and depressed. I can't run away from dark periods. I just have to face it. All fame, recognition and reputation I attained in the fairy tale just wouldn't come to pass. For in reality, my fame, my recognition and reputation should be based on Him, my God and Savior. Men of status would not bring me any further.

Now, I guess I've to do this. Lord Jesus, please help me put an end to the fairy tale. Seal (The End) this fairy tale in the name of Jesus. Let me not go back to renovate any of the scenes and relive the musky places I have architected. I, Grace, put an end to the fairy tale in the NAME OF JESUS! Be GONE!

posted at [11:18 AM]

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Intro

Thank you to all who visits my blog!! My entries would be a mirror of my life stories. Some of the entries might not sound edifying. However, at the end of the day, He'll bring good.
If you're looking for one with a "perfect" life, you'd be disappointed. I'm still human afterall, living in the imperfect earth and imperfect market.
My email: servantgrace777@gmail.com

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