Miss ConGeNiaLity's Chronicles

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Sunday, April 13, 2008

:: So much to learn from and catch up ::

Sometimes I feel that's so much to learn in life. SO much to learn from the different ones God has placed in my life, and so much to catch up. Am I giving myself too much pressure?

I was reflecting my thoughts across the table over lunch with Rachael and MinMin after adam's sunday service. All of a sudden, I could say so much. What is that held back my words on Friday? Why could Clare, Lydia, Nicky and many others in our group could contribute so much to the discussion?? On friday I felt somehow that my mind was frozen for any ideas or thoughts, and my vocal chords went mute. why is it like that? What is it that I'm afraid of?

I knew the answers to them actually. I knew I was afraid I would speak of the unspeakable, or speak out of point, speak wrongly, not giving any good point. It's not so much of the group I'm in. I could speak to them individually. Each and every single one of them. But when it comes to a group, I'm sorta reduced to muteness. Why? Am I afraid of the crowd?

Hence, I poured out my thoughts over lunch to Rachael and MinMin (Miss Beautiful; she wanted me to mention this here). Anyway... I felt I was able to speak my thoughts in an orderly manner, not just a "big bang" with very messy content. I didn't make just a few points, but many points! Why didn't I do that on Friday? sigh... How am I gonna survive in the corporate world which holds meetings like the way we have our regular meals?????

I'm very afraid I would be challenged to speak at meetings and yet I said nothing, or I said somewhat of no substance. sigh.... Why could Clare just easily gave a point regarding singers when she isn't a singer herself? Why could Lydia take the lead of the entire group where she don't exactly know them very well?

Am I trying so hard to fit in??

I'm worried about the corporate world too. Oh my goodness..

When will I ever stop worrying........?

posted at [8:52 PM]

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Intro

Thank you to all who visits my blog!! My entries would be a mirror of my life stories. Some of the entries might not sound edifying. However, at the end of the day, He'll bring good.
If you're looking for one with a "perfect" life, you'd be disappointed. I'm still human afterall, living in the imperfect earth and imperfect market.
My email: servantgrace777@gmail.com

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