Tuesday, November 27, 2007
:: Surprises along the Way ::
As I was in school today, I was informed that Vera, John, Paul and P.Pete would be eating at my school. So I decided to go over to say Hi. But I didn't know the whole bunch of CM leaders were there too. They booked the MegaBites VIP room for lunch!! I saw those from the worship team, to the drama and the multimedia. haha. So overwhelming.
So glad that I got a chance to talk to Kat too. And then showed her to the different stalls. haha. In fact all of them were pretty surprised to see me. P.Pete even asked "how come Grace is here?", "you study here meh?". The rest went "eh??". haha!! So fun. They should come more often.
Boosts my motivation..haha!!
By the way!! I've got the full set of clothes for dance!! Just waiting for the Dreamwerkz arrangements for me and my friend to enter.
posted at [8:39 PM]
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Sunday, November 25, 2007
:: Dance is my way to Express beyond words can ::
I'm someone who can't express all feelings through the limited words of mine. Sometimes feelings bottle up within me, till there became a problem, and health was affected. I've found a new way to let the feelings out, hurting no one, and not hurting myself.
DANCE!! Throw all feelings you can't speak and not know if you talk it out to anyone into a dance. No need of learning any steps. Just go with your feelings and your mood. Sweat it out, and then move on with life.
Different people use their different ways to vent their feelings. Some would write songs, some punches the sandbag, etc. Dance is my good way. I need not show anyone how I dance, I don't need anybody's approval. That's my expression of my feelings, which no one could tell me that I'd be graded for what belongs to myself. I thank God who created us who could do amazing things with our beings. I could transform feelings into movements.
This song really speaks of what I do feel at times, and this is my first time choregraphing a hip-hop dance cum a little of contemporary at the interludes.
Everybody's always talking at me, everybody's trying to get in my head. I wanna listen to my own heart talking! I need to count on myself instead! Did you ever loose yourself to get what you want? Did you ever get on a ride and wanna get off? Did you ever push away the ones should have held close? Did you ever let go? Did you ever not know?
I'm not gonna stop, that's who I am. I'll give it all I got, that's my plan! Realize on what I lost, you know you can bet on it!!
It's no good at all to see yourself and not recognize your face. I'm out on my own, it's such a scary play.
I wanna make it right, that is the way. To turn my life around, today is the day! Am I the type of girl who means what I say? You can bet on it!!
(find out the rest of the lyrics yourself)
http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/high_school_musical_cast_lyrics_7483/high_school_musical_2_lyrics_45746/bet_on_it_lyrics_507090.html
and the song I'll upload soon in a youtube format.
posted at [9:30 PM]
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Thursday, November 22, 2007
:: 21st Birthday gifts ::
This card from Rachael and MinMin; photo-edited to be explore. PINK..My favorite fabulous color!!
Went to IMM's Taka Jewellery together with my family this morning and got this. brimmed!! I love stars!!!
The male sales exe was really good at his job. His name's Vincent Song. haha. A little like Sugi from PSS1. ANyway..that's not the focuz.
After spending so much...we went to the Info counter and got a hold of more items, for free! Wrapping papers, free movie pass(2), lucky draw entries(3) and not forgetting 4 water bottles plus a handful of Mentos from Taka.
Can't wait for Christmas to arrive. The season to be Jolly!! falalala lalalala..
Last Christmas, I gave you(_ _ _) my heart, but the very next day, you(_ _ _) gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I gave it to someone(_ _ _ _ _) special. *winks. answers would be out the next entries.
posted at [2:44 PM]
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Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Grace's 21st Birthday..with video attached
Thanks to both Rachael and MinMin for this very day!!
posted at [2:59 PM]
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Sunday, November 18, 2007
:: Brings you glory, BRings you shame ::
Why is this happening again? How long more do I need to move on from this wounded ground. Again I went home, and wet my blanket with tears at 1am. Till I can't sleep, and end up doing this blog entry at such an hour.
On my way back from xmas choir practice today, I saw a lady of around my age, lying at the steps along the pathway. It seems to me that she's drunk, and pretty upset and bitter about something that happened to her. Her female friend sat beside her, comforting and consoling. Her guy friend (good for nothing), who just stood right beside and looking away.
I don't wanna come to such a point in life. But..who can stop all from happening? Many people have their own way of responding to circumstances. Perhaps it'd be better if we prepare ourselves for circumstances, instead of responding to circumstances.
I need the river. I know I'd reach S'pore's FULL AGE on Monday. However, it seems like I feel like ending it all. I can't believe I'm writing this and tearing at the same time. Luckily my family's now asleep. OR else I'd have endless questions for the night.
I know how God felt the other time when I mutilated by slashing my wrist. I knew He felt agony. Suicide then no longer became my option for escape. However, sometimes I do wish I could end it all, when things go wrong. Like the way you edit a script, from bitterness to a happy ending. Naive. That couldn't happen at all.
I also know many care for me, and ending it all would mean to bring them bitterness just to escape my bitterness. Life sometimes seems like a dilemma. When I'm writing this I wonder how dark this blog can seem like, and why I didn't write such things in my essays. Perhaps I'd have gotten an A1. but..whatever.
I've friends who constantly give me their encouragements, their scoldings, and advices. I remember this from YinShi, "I admire those who goes for the auditions. It means that they want to step out. And nobody would feel embarrassed for you(who didn't make it)." There's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed. I remember this from Jane, "There are many who couldn't make it, but you were better. Just continue to serve God cheerfully." Not making it into the audition doesn't mean my inadequacy. Of course..This isn't the first time I'm doing this. In fact I've went for classes and practices secretly at P6, and in JC. I didn't feel good at the beginning, cuz it feels like you did something wrong. But I enjoy dance alot.
I also remember Gina telling me this, which almost make me fall off the chair, "I'm not of a dance person actually. But I guess God got me into The Inn Musical dance just to meet Andrew." haha!! When's it gonna be my turn?? I was pretty surprised when I saw Nathaniel at the choir practice. Though...that's such a long long crush. And I guess he's attached. He was the only guy I took the courage to give him a xmas present (through a friend) when he didn't really know me. However...I wonder if this is bad/good..He can't recognize me now. After all kinds of chemical reaction, you call it "rebonding", and after removing the extra positively charged element on my face-spectacles. My specs are metallic, that's why. I call this restoring the first and true image God gave me. Who was ever borned with specs? Nobody.... THat's what I meant. Anyway..I think Nat's gf's in my school, as I saw him meeting her there (when he doesn't belong to the school). But he has one kind of character that I might not want my future partner to conceive; I call it the "must-win debate". I don't want to have everyday arguments, you know what I mean?
I remember Kat saying that I would go through such feelings here and there for now, until of the age 30. Becoz I'm still in my stage of uncertainties, etc. I also recalled exclaiming immediately after her line, "That would be 9more years! To become like you, your age!" haha..Did I just reveal to you her age?? haha. I hope she isn't upset that I sound like she's too old or I'm too young.
Excuses excuses excuses excuses excuses. When will I stop looking up to man, leaders, etc?? And let my decisions be made because of them. sigh..
posted at [1:39 AM]
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Saturday, November 17, 2007
:: Pareto Inefficiency ::
My birthday's 2days away from today, yet I don't feel a single excitement. My dreams are shattered. There lay no anticipation ahead for me. I'm tired, gloomy, bored. THere's just no drive in everything I do.
Who can I believe? I'm tired of asking.
Each time I go for practice, which is together with the D group, it just aches my heart. Bottling up the pieces together, and overpour it out at home after each practice. This is very tiring!!
posted at [11:09 AM]
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Tuesday, November 13, 2007
:: Do I handle the test or does the Test handle me? ::
Any recommendations of Video Editing Software? I'm looking forward to edit the videos I've shoot, and hopefully create a DV. Go and guess what's that. haha.
Studying for tests, though they will not be included into the finals. However, who wants to flunk a test. Skipping tests are just cowarding out. but...I wanna do well lar.
Micro on 15th Nov. FR most probably on 21st Nov. ELC on 23rd Nov. When's HRM??
Please don't give me surprise tests.
posted at [10:37 PM]
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Monday, November 12, 2007
Is there anything wrong with these photos?
I learnt this move from ShinHwa AAA Zoudance. Catch them on YouTube!!
Heys..I'm not shooting myself. I'm just trying to say, "Look at my eyes".
This is the highest I can go..Can't go any higher for the time being.
Saw my new bracelet..guess the price again. haha!
posted at [8:06 PM]
Love Changes Everything-HweeSan's wedding song!
Can't believe that one of the songs we are gonna sing for Christmas would be HweeSan's wedding song. It was the song of entrance where they welcome in the Bride(HweeSan) into the ceremony, who walks in with flowergirls and her dad.
Enjoy the song I've attached to the blog. Don't faint at the end of the song. Cuz this lady's a sop!
Love Changes Everything
By: Sarah Brightman
Love, Love changes everything
Hands and faces, Earth and sky,
Love, Love changes everything:
How you live and How you die
Love, Can make the summer fly,
Or a night Seem like a lifetime.
Yes Love, Love changes everything:
Now I tremble At your name.
Nothing in the World will ever Be the same.
Love, Love changes everything:
Days are longer, Words mean more.
Love, Love changes everything:
Pain is deeper Than before.
Love Will turn your world around,
And that world Will last for ever.
Yes Love, Love changes everything,
Brings you glory, Brings you shame.
Nothing in the World will ever Be the same.
Off Into the world we go,
Planning futures, Shaping years.
Love, comes in, and suddenly All our wisdom
Disappears.
Love Makes fools of everyone:
All the rules We made are broken.
Yes, Love, Love changes everyone.
Live or perish In its flame.
Love will never, Never let you Be the same.
Love will never, Never let you Be the same.
posted at [5:26 PM]
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Sunday, November 11, 2007
:: The Truth is PAINFUL ::
I guess I've found out the truth. It wasn't because I was bad. It was because of a political issue that wasn't address at the meeting. At the same time, I didn't had common sense to see beyond things. Common sense would tell you "NO" when you could see no cmer going for the audition. Common sense would tell you "NO" as there were so many ppl going for the dance audition. The agenda wasn't for cmers but for the non-cmer; participation beyond cmers. Her surprising look and can't-be-bothered tone should give you a further explanation. I was just blinded with my own goal. So silly.
Why in the first place wasn't the agenda stated? I wasted my time and had a good time of embarrassment, together with an annoying period of being kept in suspense.
Herrr diplomatic explanation was just to cover things up. hmm. I wonder if mum was right after all. I really don't know who to believe.
Hopefully I can stay where I am. If I just don't belong here, I gotta go sooner or later.
posted at [6:29 PM]
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Saturday, November 10, 2007
该相信什么？
世界真可怕，一当失去某个东西就等于失去整个世界。
伤口不止一个，我要等到什么时候才能康复。
未来，我展时看不见。
但我知道，我一定会成功。
posted at [10:07 PM]
:: Alrightey ::
I've been using so much of SilkyGirl's products. Just purchased the Cool Girl Kisses Fun Gloss "03 Pretty Pink" together with the Roll-on Perfume Concentrate "Forget Me Not". haha. I've from foundations to lip gloss to perfume from Silky Girl, perhaps next time eye-shadows and blushers.
Having chicken rice every now and then would make it taste really bad after some time. I do not want to have anything to do with it for the next month.
While I was out with my family today, my sister and I did something really silly today. We were waiting in my dad's van, as we were tired from walking, while they were still settling some stuff. Hence we got bored after awhile. We decided to sit in the front seats of the van; I pretended to be the "driver" and my sister was in the passenger seat. Suddenly, all cars who were waiting for parking lots came driving and waited beside our van, with their signal on. Like when you wanna take over the parking lot, after the driver drives out his/her car from the same lot. We were stunned, and just kept sitting in the van laughing and singing. The 3 waiting cars became quite irritated, as we were not moving the van. haha! Of course, I wasn't the driver, I can't drive. I was just waiting for my dad. haha.
When dad & mum finally came, they were laughing at us. Dad even signalled me to pull my car over. *dished. haha.. The cars finally understood who was the "real" driver. haha.
posted at [2:06 PM]
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Thursday, November 08, 2007
=I Might Not be able to Walk for sometime=
Let's do something about my leg..I mean my toe. Since I don't need it for taekwondo anymore, or dance. It's time to settle the right last toe. It's gonna hurt, and leave me in bandages for weeks/months. That depends.
It has been 2months since it happened, and I never visited the doctor or the chinese accupuncture for help.
I might not be able to do many things then..really sounds like 2L2R (try figure this out yourself).
posted at [10:43 AM]
:: The HORROR has Arrived ::
posted at [12:00 AM]
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Monday, November 05, 2007
:: The Constant Bugging ::
I can't help but to keep thinking whether will they be calling me? Will I be in? And to start reflecting over what happened on Saturday. I know God's in control. But again it's very human to have thoughts like that. but...be Mindful. My sister was so smart to find a word to describe the dance, "Retro". haha!
Anyway, I found this photo from a friend's email, and this is so lame that have to post it here.
Yesterday, was Sunday. (yes you know that). I went to Bishan with my sister to celebrate her birthday. However, it turned out...bad. We had PastaMania, which was the total spoiler of the day. I selected "Clams with White Wine", thinking that white wine equals to rice wine. My mum has been cooking food with rice wine at home, and nothing happened, in fact it tasted good. When my food arrived, the hungry me gobbled all down, without thinking. After finishing the food, I felt really burning in my throat and chest, and everywhere became very dreamy. (mind you, I've never consumed any sort of alcohol before). I tried drinking water, and eating mint sweets, which almost burnt my tongue. My poor sister had to take care of me on our way home then. I was whining a little here and there, and I completely knocked out on the bus. Walking home from the bus interchange was really a challenge.
Have you ever heard of this:
"Wine makes you whine"
Ahh..that was silly me. My sister narrated the entire scenario to my parents when they came home, as I was completely knock out on bed for the next 4hrs, and they had a good laugh. So..white wine isn't rice wine. And it isn't good for pasta anyway.
posted at [4:13 PM]
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Saturday, November 03, 2007
:: Audition Today ::
I almost fainted when I saw Kat & the other dancer (i think her name is Victoria) showing the dance for Christmas. It's not something I expected. It's not called hip-hop. It initially looked like a-go-go, then like line dance, then a bit of hip-hop moves, then samba..haha! It didn't bother me after we practiced it like, I don't know how many times, before it's our turn. It became really easy, though I was forgetting steps initially.
See this video and you know what I mean..
However, results aren't out. They'll be calling all of us. I wonder when when?? But soon lar, since the next practice would be 11th Nov(sun), which is next Sunday. haha..
But it was really fun practicing dance with a whole group of new faces I just got to know there. Feels like a dance lesson, more than an audition. Recalling my JC's dance workshop after promos, which I initially was so angry with my friends for signing me up for it, but find it fun then. haha.
posted at [5:38 PM]
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