::: Bored :::
Exams are like 9days away. Have I done enough? The question whose answer I dare not say. Understanding is what's most important in everything we study. That's one Tick. When it comes to finance topics, writing outlines and mindmaps help me remember best. That's another Tick. What's most critical about exams is that we are to be able to remember what we understood and studied. There isn't a Tick for that yet. haha!!
Hence I feel rather unprepared. "Feel" is a present continuous tense here. This is like an unrest I always have towards exams. I don't know what can make me happy about having papers. Perhaps I should be happy, to make my way for every paper in a completely New Environment- S'pore Expo or RELC! I also should be happy to have new shoes to accompany me, a new pair of watch to brighten up my day when I'll glare at it to see how much time I'm left to complete the paper, newly bought stationeries from pens to markers to make writing a whole lot happier. haha!!
But I do know one thing though. I know that all these are just the very trivial or minor things that can make you a little happier only, because obsoletenesss exist. What's most MOST important is that God is with you, sitting on an invisible chair next to you in the examination hall, guiding you and whispering wisdom needed into your very ears. haha!! I hope I don't get caught talking to Jesus during my papers, or the invigilators may thought I went mad to start speaking into the air. haha!!
Anyway, all these papers will be a little part of me to shine a light of His glory. Let it be done.
On my way home this afternoon, after Rachael and MinMin alighted, there came this little boy with his aunt. They began to recite certain lines of some cartoons or life show, which really spoilt my good time of snoozing! The lines went "I'm your little grum-grum, and I'm gonna eat your rum-rum, so you better run-run, or you're another dumb-dumb!" How ridiculous these lines can mean? However I'm amazed that the little boy of less than 6years of age could memorize the lines so vividly. Perhaps it's a line meant for the little children.
Can finance be put into such a rhythm, Miss Koh? We'll give you a perfect A=94%.
posted at [5:03 PM]
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::: I've no idea :::
Exams..I'm having a headache now, that's why I went away from those graphs for awhile and came here to take alook at MSN. It's pretty wierd, of what people put up as their personal message. Especially during exams, I'll see comments like "3 down and 2 more to go..and 3 more days to freedom", "CN10051 is incoherent..", "very unhappy now", "stress stress what can I do?", "finally..my long break", etc. haha!!
It's pretty upsetting to see people ending their papers when you have not even started yours. This is because we are from different campus. It's heartrending. Nevertheless, it should not be an excuse to do any worst. All the more I should end up doing better than them, because I've more time. However, ultimately I need God's wisdom and guidance, or else all elses fails. Sounds a little like ceterus perebus.
Anyway, it was so ridiculous to have incoherent dreams the past few days. First I dream P.Pete telling our team, before we serve, that he wanted to pair me up with MinMin to train us to play the cello! OH MY... I didn't know what was that initially in my dream, and only knew it was a large violin you play between your knees. I didn't know whether to feel happy or sad (when I was still in the dream). Sad bcoz I can't be singer..haha!
Next, I dreamt of this guy whom I know, to suddenly pop up his declaration of love through an sms! OH MY GOODNESS. I definitely have not thought of that in my life. I didn't know how to react, but as usual, I'll remain silent and pretend nothing took place (in the dream). I was so so relief when I woke up from those 2 dreams....
posted at [11:33 PM]
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::: That's not the way you should be handling the matter :::
I admit I'm bad at handling people's relation. Now I'm wounded by the entire situation. Can you imagine somebody wishing you this: "I wish you'll fail all your exams" ? I need to recover fast, and get back to serious mugging. Don't worry Grace, this Disorientation will not last. God still loves you, Grace. God still loves a sinner, and somebody who didn't manage her relations well. I've learnt from my mistakes. I should have informed them a month earlier, but I didn't, and I don't know why.
I know it's no point meditating on my mistakes. Learn and move on. Very words from Lydia. I can still be more than a conqueror. I believe I can still do well, despite all curses, socery (if they will do so), prank calls, etc. I suddenly recall this line from VeggieTales: "God is bigger than the......". Yes!! That's right.
posted at [11:46 PM]
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Exams are just a Small burden in life
My cell went down to Tan Tock Seng Hospital on Friday to visit Lydia's dad. He had a tightness in his chest on Wednesday, and was admitted to the hospital the next day. The doctors did blood test and angiogram, and found out that there was a blockage in his artery, and would have to go for either a bypass or a balloon. The cell prayed through the few nights before Friday came. On Friday, the doctor did a second angiogram to confirm if the bypass or balloon was needed. By God's timeless miracle, the blockage in his artery has been reduced alot, hence neither the bypass nor the balloon was needed. Guess what? He was discharged today! God's good man.
As I was at the hospital, we spoke to the family, Lydia's mum and sister. Lydia's mum really impress me alot. She's someone who is really knowledgeable and a very experienced lady, whom can speak to you about life. Her testimonies were never-ending. haha! She told me something that woke me up. She said Exams are the minimum worries in life. After your studies, into the corporate world, the challenges out there will then qualify to be described as "worries".
However, I also do remember as I was reading the Bible together with The Daily Bread, and I came across this: It says that many of us tend to speak in this manner in life. "The Lord is my Shepherd, so I'm worried to death." "The Lord is my Shepherd, so I'm worried I'll fail my exam." "The Lord is my Shepherd, so I'm worried..........". And it goes on!! haha..When you try saying it to yourself, you'll find it amusing.
No worries. Trust in God. Do you best and God will do the rest.
posted at [4:08 PM]
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:: Don't dream, It's over ::
Don't Dream It's OverThere is freedom within, There is freedom withoutTry to catch the deluge in a paper cupThere's a battle ahead, Many battles are lostBut you'll never see the end of the roadWhile you're travelling with meHey now, hey nowDon't dream it's overHey now, hey nowWhen the world comes inThey come, they comeTo build a wall between usWe know they won't winNow I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roofMy possessions are causing me suspicion But there's no proofIn the paper today tales of war and of wasteBut you turn right over to the T.V. pageHey now, hey nowDon't dream it's overHey now, hey nowWhen the world comes inThey come, they comeTo build a wall between usWe know they won't winNow I'm walking again to the beat of a drumAnd I'm counting the steps to the door of your heartOnly the shadows ahead barely clearing the roofGet to know the feeling of liberation and reliefHey now, hey nowDon't dream it's overHey now, hey nowWhen the world comes inThey come, they comeTo build a wall between usDon't ever let them winDr.Joshua sent me this song a few weeks ago, before Easter. I guess the lyrics makes better sense now. Listen carefully!! Don't dream, it's over.
posted at [8:49 PM]
:: It's Just a Dream ::
It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here
But all I want is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cuz now I have to pretend
That I don't really care.
I thought you were my fairytale,
I dream when I'm not sleeping.
I wished upon a star,
That's coming "true"
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings
With the truth
When there was me and you
I swore I knew the melody,
When I heard you singing
And when you smiled
It made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used to be's
And once upon a song
Now I know your not my fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star,
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell,
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Because I like the view,
When there was me and you
I can't believe
That I could be so blind
It's like you will floating
When I was falling
And I didn't mind
Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you
posted at [2:03 PM]
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:: Why I said "No" to dance in the past ::
Dance dance. Even the words sound cool and funky. However, I seemed to have no association to it.
At a very young age of mine, I wasn't allowed to do anything related to dance. I was never allowed to join any activities to do with dance in school, neither at church. I was always given a dressing down that dance = "demonic moves". I was very young then, and perhaps couldn't apprehand if it was true. Hence, I'll not dare dance at home, when the primary school teacher taught us some moves during curriculum lessons. I'll feel very guilty in school, each time I did a move the teacher taught. I'd often thought I was a bad girl now, after dancing.
Until an older age, when I reach my teen, I still couldn't understand why dance is "bad". However, that was when I began to realise that it may not be bad. It was the rebellious age of mine, so I did some moves at home, and was caught in action! Then my mum made this remark, "You want to dance is it? Your dad can dance very well you know..but what happened in the end?",which brought light to why she disallow me to dance. I then found out that my dad was a dancer in the past, before the catastrophe. I guess she didn't want me to follow that direction.
However, it was stated in the Bible that the people sing praises and dance before the Lord (can't remember which verse). Surely God has made us able to dance and sing for Him, to love Him. All we can do is to Glorify His name with all we are given.
Although all that happened has brought me fear to dancing, I believe I can overcome it with God's assuring love. Gradually, I will be able to step out of this dark fear, into His light!!
Samaritan Woman's Song (with dance created by Kat):
Through all the darkess times
When all seemed lost and gone
You filled my heart with hope
You taught me just to trust
Through all the darkess fears
When things just make no sense
I learn to trust in You
You gave me more than I could ask
Jesus is the One who cares
He has not forsaken me
Jesus is the One who gives
He has made everything
So beautiful
Jesus, You care
You're always there for me
You've been the Light in the dark
Guiding my way
You lift me up
Give me strength to carry on
Shinning Your light into my life
Now I can realise
My love is Jesus.
posted at [11:23 AM]
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Wednesday, April 11, 2007
:: Grace Learning To Dance ::
Oh my goodness..Jaymen took a video of Kat-jie and me while she was teaching me the Samaritan Woman dance. And guess what did he label the attachment as? It says "GraceLearningToDance.MP4"!! Oh my..oh my...
When I was watching the dance moves she taught, I realised how vulnerable my moves were, and how unstable I was doing each step. As I was watching the video on the computer, and mimicking the steps in front of the computer....To be the light in the dark...OUCH!! I banged my knee under the computer desk! Lesson learnt: Never dance in the study room! Haha.. I'm so thankful that Jaymen took the video of the very moves I forgot. Now I can do the complete dance, and my sister won't have to say "then?" anymore, cuz I used to pause with my last step's pose while thinking of the next. haha!!
I'm also glad that Paul David has placed Rachael with me and MinMin for the next 2months. yay!! Serving together is always good!! Then we can do silly things together too. Like dancing suddenly out of nowhere, and mimicking the Phantom of the Opera. haha!! I wouldn't know how will it be like 10years later. Will I still be as funky and lively as a few people I know of? Like Kat or Candice or Aileen? Well, I hope so.
posted at [7:41 PM]
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Easter Pics!!
posted at [6:57 PM]
TIMELESS - Easter
It's really fulfilling each time you serve God. You learn to grow, you learn from falling. Hipcups and obstacles on the way, but it doesn't matter. The joy of serving the Lord overpowers every circumstances. I've finally used what He has given, to serve Him and His people. Thank God for that. Perhaps He will continue to show me what He has in mind for me.
At the 2nd day of the production, in moments of madness after dinner, because we had 30 minutes more before the 2nd service. MinMin and I went into PJ. I began to imitate Katherine's dance and also fidgeting with mike. There was a Bible on the pulpit. So why not? I started preaching, haha..oops. I don't know why the page happened to be at John4:4. yes..It was the part where Jesus ministered to the Samaritan woman. Just as I read out that all that was written....Katherine (who was acting as that Samaritan woman this Easter) entered into PJ. I turned around at the very moment I heard the door knob, and almost dropped the mike I was holding. haha!! Then she asked "Hor!! What were you doing?" I was overly-shocked..I went silent for 30seconds before telling her that I was actually reading the Bible about the Samaritan woman. haha!! She was surprised haha, and made the remark "Wow! So zhun ar?". Then I just merely made the comment that I like her dance for the part when Sandie sang her song. There came MinMin who sabo me lor..and let out my embarrassment. She told Kat that I was imitating her dance!! ahhhhhh..... I ended up running round PJ after MinMin. This is so embarrassing. This is what happened next: Kat went toilet first and when she came back, she asked me to dance for her. Ahhhh... She took the next 10mins persuading me to dance. Oh my goodness. I was like "I don't know, I don't know....I don't want..", while she was like "Why don't want? You never try you'll never know. C'mon...". haha.. Finally, we did together. She taught me the entire dance. wow! haha... I finally know the completed steps, though I forgot a few lines..oops. Sorry Kat, I think I need to see again. haha...
Hence, because of the dance and that song, I can't sleep that night. The song just kept ringing in my mind, together with the dance moves. Finally, at 2am, I decided to get out of bed to dance in the living room. Hoping that after my dance the effects in my mind will be lightened. haha.. But it kept moving in my mind...oh man.. Now i'm dancing everyday, haha. Maybe I should try figuring out the dance for the first part of the song, where there wasn't any dance to it yet.
Anyway, I've snapped alot alot of pics this Easter. I'm gonna put it on RockYou. Catch me!!
posted at [6:01 PM]
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I've decided to take up Ballet
I'm so mesmerized by m.m(Katherine's nickname from me) who danced the part for Sandie's song!! It has ballet moves as well as dramatic proclaiming actions. It's really elegant. I've hence decided to take up ballet classes after Easter. Live out the beauty in Me!
Pictures pictures. I'm gonna bring down my camera to the Full Dress Rehearsal this Wed. NOt only am I gonna snap narcissitic pics but also bits and parcels everywhere. woohoo!! And I'll put it on a RockYou slideshow on this blog!! Together with this song I'm listening now, "Don't Dream It's Over". Thanks to Dr.Joshua for being so sweet to send me the song. I'll upload the song together with the pics asap. Hopefully together with the pics at the real show on Good Friday. Timeless!! Adam Rd at 4pm or 7.30pm on both Fri and Sat. C'mon and check this out. After thru many practices, tech runs, rehearsals, I can gladly proclaim that this is a definite touching and skilled production. From singing, to drama, to musical testimonies, and the preaching of the gospel. Surely you won't wanna miss them out.
I remember watching the "King & I" many years back. I remember how I teared when I saw "Jesus" (acted by Gerald) reaching out to Mary Magdalene (acted by Katherine). Then I knew how much I wanted God to reachout to me. It got me back closer to Him. I had backslighted then. I'm back, through the ministering scene. It's amazing that the production is powerful, not because the best artistes or the best singers are there, not because the props were made by the best artists, not because the lights were so luminously colorful, not because the preaching pastor was always so handsome or gorgeous. I tell you, none of these made the impact. It's the annointing God has placed on the different ones, and the production itself. His presence, we asked from Him, not to be absent from the stages to the congregation to the carparks and the meeting places. It's only when I've entered doing a production in 2005, "The Inn Musical" during Christmas, then I knew there were so muching praying going on behind the scenes, before + during + after the musical. Don't you ever think that the backstage people are the dispensable group, for they are the ones I saw, who were praying most of the time. Yes. I understood now most I've seen and not seen.
posted at [1:26 PM]
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