I sEe tHe tRue coLoRs sHiNinG thRouGh, lEt tHeM kNoW yOu'Re beAuTiFul liKe a RaiNbOw
So many weeks passed ahead since the day we stepped into seven years through the Millenium, 2007. All kinds of resolutions of all genre have been made. The expected and the rare accomplishments had also been done. There came one day, this very day, where I asked myself a question: What really had changed in me?
All these years, ever since the Millenium rises up from the peak years of crises(1998), there has been many happenings and changes. However, is it just the changes to the surroundings, or was I involved? My character, my destiny, my family, my ministry, my friends, my activities. I changed from an ever introverted girl to an explosively-extroverted one, though at times I had my fears uptight too. I moved from a little girl who did so badly in her PSLE, till the point of almost enrolling into the Normal (T) stream, to one who moved on to Junior College and now in a University. My family used to be in lack of many, finances, love, peace, bonding, and now it has an abundance of them (though the latter will be greater; and the best is yet to come). I used to be in a hidden-up ministry that I thought I could serve inconspicuously, as I was afraid of crowds and I wasn't able to open up to people-that's RGB. I'm not saying that RGB is a bad ministry, but the reason I chose to be in was to avoid people while I serve. However, never will I expect that I will move on from that ministry to be in Creative Min, to be a part of the singers (whom I used to fear them, as they looked really loud and active, totally different from who I was). The friends I use to mix with came out to no progress, but a bunch of "hi" and "byes" mates. It's only till lately, that I mingle with friends from sec sch, JC, and church of course that the relationship still goes on; especially covenantal relationship. I also use to do activities of really low-profiles that I don't get in contact with so many people. My CCAs in the various schools only range from science club to computer to media. It's like the improminent ones. However, I've never dreamt of becoming a martial art player, in Taekwondo. I thought I'd join some less active CCA in uni, but I did something out of my norm to join tkd. I'm doing so much out of my comfort zone. Have I really changed?
Last Sunday, which was only yesterday, Ellen drove me, TiatHwee and Jane over to Trinity@ Paya Lebar after Adam's service. It was Stephanie Chan's last week in town, as she'll leave soon this Friday for the continuing of her studies at Aussie. That will be the same of Leroy and Yaoshen. As the singers and the team were praying for her, Sister HweeSan mentioned this phrase, which creates a deep impact on my little brain. "Lord, I pray that You'll excite her in her walk with You." How amazing can it be. It's suppose to an exciting journey with the Lord in our lives. However, many felt otherwise; reading the Bible is a chore, worshipping becomes an act, serving becomes an obligation, sharing the Gospel is a shame, etc. Why has all of these become so different? It seems to become that many has reach the point that they no longer feel the excitment to be with God, to do His work, to act His will, to just be with Him! Have the world changed?
What really changed?
posted at [1:09 PM]
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Thursday, January 25, 2007
A whole lot of Events
I'm feeling really stresssssssed out these weeks. Exams are proceeding yet i'm descending. Oh man.. Sometimes, we as humans are proned to the moments when we feel "lousy". It's like a total helpless moment. All we could do was to leave everything in His Hands and we'll see God's Hands in everything.
Last night was our 1st Practice of 2007. We jammed 2new songs, in a rushing manner, so to speak. However, we at least capture the essence and the melody of the songs. On that very day, before Practice, I spotted DANO's Sky Blue blouse going at 15bucks at a Roadshow at Jurong Point. I was so glad till I saw the little words under that price banner, which says "minimum 2pcs". Dreadful! Then I remembered that Nicky was also wanted to buy one, as hers went too short. So I told her after practice. Ellen also requested for Lilac. Hence, I went back to there today to get the blouses. HOWEVER!!!!They didn't have the sizes for Nicky, neither for Ellen!! argh.. so where can I get that dreadful "minimum 2pcs"?? I was really frustrated again, at the shop. I held my Sky Blue blouse in my arms, and stared into space. I've tried asking the Sales girl to find for me the sizes, etc. When I almost wanted to give up and left, she came up with a Brilliant Idea! She paired me up with a friendly customer, so it can make up to that "minimum 2pcs". Muahahah.. However, after buying, I kinda feel that the blue is a little darker than the original; it's medium-slated blue, not light-slated blue. However, it's still the correct color. Just a few more washes, and it'll be light-slated blue (the correct name for Sky Blue).
I am so devastated at my studying rate. Though I've planned out for everything, and everyday. Somehow, my physical being overcomes my will. I'm just too tired to study at times. Perhaps I really gotta try it out this way: meeting friends in the morning to study. This allows accountability and resolves procrastination. haha.. It also allows discussions and clearance of doubts. woohoo!! Therefore, that will be it!!
However, I'm thankful for friends like Rachael and MinMin. Both of them came down to SIM to surprise me! I was having training, and was about to leave after the basic kicks. As I was turning into my 360degrees revolutionary kicks, I suddenly saw 2familiar faces. Haha.. The 2girls smiled sheepishly by the Plaza area to visit me while I was training. I then asked to leave, as I've told EC that I gotta go by 7pm, which was then 7.05pm already. Joan took over my place for EeLin Jie, and I quickly ran up to MegaBites with my Gee..haha. I got no time to change, to wash-up. So sorry to MegaBites. I quickly ordered my food and digged in with Rachael and Min. While I was ordering my food, the boy-assistant came asking me this.."Girl, you can run about with your Gee?" *faints* He also asked me certain questions about SIM TKD and stuff about grading. haha.. When I finally got my food, I realised I really had no time left. We gobbled our food and left for church immediately...which means I was still in my Gee when I boarded the bus and even when I ran up and into church. *faints* Luckily, not everyone was aware of that there's this girl running all over the place in her gee. oops!!Rachael and MinMin:
Anyway, I was blessed today and yesterday, and forever!! Yep, we are Levites set apart for Him. To serve and to worship Him. Set apart ourselves too. I'm starting to learn all in a process.
posted at [8:15 PM]
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:::It's Sunday already:::
Wow...Seven days swept pass and here I am. I had served in the morning at Trinity@Paya Lebar 8.30am service. When it was offering time, where Ps.Dom prays, I tried to leave from the backstage which has a door at the left side of the stage. I walked there as quietly as possible from the steps where the singers stood, to behind the stage curtains to that door. Then I tried to open the door but failed. I tried my best to open that door again, tried 3times, and decided not to make a din there then, as the congregation on the right below stage will be able to see the commotion. So I had no choice but to remain backstage, as I can't go back to where the singers were (as in I can't suddenly appeared on stage from no where). So I was in the dark for the next 15minutes. oh man... After worship was over, I quickly followed behind the singers behind and make a big U-turn just to get my bag, situated near the exit. I grabbed my bag and quickly rushed off for taekwondo grading. On my way, I ran into Doris, Stephanie Chan and Andrew. I was complaining to them about the "silly" door beside the stage which I couldn't open it for nuts! Then to my horror- they said I gotta press the exit button on the right hand corner beside the door before I open that door!!!! Oh man!! I was super silly!! How could I have missed that button the whole while I was trying to open that Door!! dratz..
Anyway, I made it just on time at the CC for my grading. I rushed through changing into my gee and getting my grading card from EeLin jie. My mind was in a whirl. *faints* As I was late, I was grouped with the kids together with SinWee. Rather overwhelming. I felt like vomiting for one moment while waiting to be graded. It is all due to the running from church to take bus 80, and running from the CC to the take the same bus back to church to serve the 2nd service. Thank God that the bus came right at the dot (twice!) when I reached the bus-stop. haha... The moment I reached church, almost everyone cheered for me..haha. It's really great accomplishment to be on-the-go from one place to another and back to the same place within 1hour!! Hallejulah!! I did it! Amen!! These are the exact timings: I served at 8.30am, rushed off to taekwondo at 9.26am and reach the grading centre at 9.45am, then rushed back to church at 10.30am and reached there at 10.45am. Woohoo! It's amazing that I'm still awake and lively. I thought I might lose all energy after 2nd service. Nope, it didn't happen. I was still able to enjoy worship=) Though my voice did crack at certain times. All because of the oldies.
Ps.Dom shot so many oldies Christian songs at one go! It was like a marraton of it, one after another. A total of 4 oldies. Oh man! Many singers were not in the era to have known of these songs, so we pretended haha..but some how figured out the lyrics when he sang the song the 2nd time. After service, Ps.Dom then came to "suan" us loh.. He said this to me and Rachael: "So today you guys learnt many new songs right?". Dratz.. Then both of us said: "Ya, ya.. We really never hear of these songs before, and we pretended to sing them though." haha.. Ps.Dom of course knew it all, and said "I knew you guys just pretend, but it's good that we're singing these old songs". *faints* After the lame statement made, we giggled off, as he went down the stairs with his wife. This is when the cute Rachael exclaimed so loudly about this: "I thought there's only gonna be one old song. Then after we finish singing the old song, still got another one, then still got somemore leh!" haha.. This time, Ps.Dom looked up and said: "It's your priviledge." haha... I really dunno where to hide my face that time..
Alright, after all those nonsense, we went for lunch! We took some pics with those 2guys who are gonna leave so soon. Both are going to Aussie, PERTH and UNSW. One for aviation training, another for studies; Leroy and YaoShen. We crapped then entire afternoon with "leg-cancer" jokes which are really not from earth.. I don't know how it came about. haha..
QianQin, MinMin, Rachael, ME, Leroy, Yaoshen (clockwise from the left)
Then I headed back home, on the MRT to Boon Lay. It's really long a journey from Paya Lebar to Boon Lay. It's at least 45minutes. Hence I seeked all chance to get a seat. When I got my sit, I thought I could rest my mind and my aching physical being. However, I was wrong. The indian guy on my left happened to be a pervert, whose legs can't keep to himself, that it seems to move towards my direction again and again. I thought moving a little to my right would helped, however his leg seemed to be retardedly-insistent, and still moving towards mine. This is it! I got my big heavy haversack and placed it in between the seat of his and mine. No more nonsense!! That retarded human obviously knew what I was comprehending through my actions, and of course the other viewing-commuters. But this is the best, and most lenient way I could think of at the moment, to put an end to that retarded-nonsense.
Crowded trains are always no good to be boarded.
posted at [4:14 PM]
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:::::Tired is Grace is Tired:::::
I was really tired the whole of today. It seems like the cough syrup medicine has powerful ability of making me drowsy the entire morning. As usual, the working adults are always moving in a BIG RUSH to work. I kinda made them irritated, as I was also rushing for school, haha.. It's because everyone was moving at such a walking-rate that it's very prone to hits and bumping. I had a whole morning of lecture, but the amazing thing is that PBF wasn't as boring as it used to. This is the amazing work of God. It doesn't matter who's lecturing, although the lecture has a powerful put-to-sleep spell, God can turn things around for those who wait on Him. After the morning's lecture, I quickly rushed off for home, since I needed lunch but couldn't find anyone to lunch with. I admit that I was really disorientated today, in fact these days I guess. I didn't plan my goings properly, and went round like a cycle, making myself seeming so "hardworkingly-busy". I went to NUS in the afternoon to get certain stuff done, and also to collect my jacket from Rachael, haha (i forgot to take it back from her in Suntec). I should be going right to school from NUS, but instead, I went home! All because it was really way to early to be in school for training. I went back, went online for 30mins and left again. This is crazy you see? My mind was really disorientated. I could have brought some notes or some books to read-up at the school's library before training. Apparently the medicine's effect hasn't left me.
When training came, we didn't do much but practise alot on the patterns we'll be graded this Sunday. I was pretty surprised to see Krystel coming by to say Hi at the training grounds, haha. As usual there are many who sat around, some at the upper levels to explore the scene of taekwondo training. However, this time I kinda saw some familiar faces, but wasn't sure as it was kinda far. My eyesight is failing, seriously dreadful. If the I don't sleep well, I'll end up with a poor eyesight for the day. This is where sometimes the words on the lecture screen appears a little blur, the clock also appeared as if there were more than one timing on it, bus no. looks wierd, and people too. haha.. I'm so sorry if I didn't say Hi to anyone whom I knew but couldn't identify today.
After training, I went home early. However, training has made me even more tired physically and mentally. My mind couldn't concentrate to the surroundings, and my physical being of course couldn't react to them. When I was waiting along the road for pedestrian crossing, a lady accidentally hit me from the back (and I thought it was some pickpocket or some indecent man), hence I gave her a "look". She immediately apologised politely, but it took me a few seconds to respond, which I didn't in the end. Before I could say "It's alright" or "It's ok", she went over to her boyfriend, but still turned around to check on me if I was really mad at her. All because of that "look". My head was still hung down, looking at the hard and cold concrete of the ground. I was really too tired to move already. I dragged my feet back home, hoping to find something to fulfill meaning for the day. I'm really sorry to that lady, as I was really in a whirl.
The only way to find meaning is in His Word- The Bible.
I'll be serving in Paya Lebar this Sunday, and hopefully things will run well that day as it'll be a whole morning of mad-rush. I'll be reporting there at 7.45am and serve at 8.30am till hopefully 9am, then I'll rush off to Paya Lebar Kovan CC for my yellow-tip grading which begins at 9.30am. I really hope and I'm praying that it'll end by 10am, where I can rush off to church by 10.45am and washed up before I serve again at the second service at 11.30am. There should be time I guess, as the bus to-and-fro is rather frequent. Praying that all will turn well and smooth. haha..
posted at [10:31 PM]
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Serving at Different Places
Today's a new day where the singers were located in separate locations. I was really drowsy when I got up this morning, though it's only 7am, yet I'm still drowsy. After my breakfast, I was still in my hibernation mode. I went to take out the blouse Sister Adeline lent to me for serving this morning. The blouse was really filled with a powerful softener-scent, that it also got onto my other blouses I hanged it with. haha..no wonder her blouse is really soft, unlike the other blouses of mine which are so hard that it restricts my movements on stage (the clapping and lifting of hands). haha.. At Adam, the amount of congregation really reduced alot. However, that's not the point. 
I spoke to Ellen about the no. of singers over at PL in comparison to the no. at Adam. She said it's only human perspective that will be viewing and thinking that Adam's annointing will drop alot, since there are lesser singers and musicians there. She also said that we have to build it up all the more. This was what really happened:The starting of songs of praise was like..as usual? It's only till we moved Strong into worship, "God of Wonders", then God's presence was really more than significant! It's so amazing that within a small congregation, a small group of pastors, small group of singers and musicians, cuz God comes to where that welcomes Him, His presence and to where there are people who love Him and yearn for His presence. He showed me alot!!This is a picture of many many umbrellas flown up into the skies together:
After service at Adam, I came over to PL!! Many muz have thought that I'm mad. But I really miss all of them, the group of singers where we used to serve altogether, all 23singers. I tell you, when I reached, I wanted to hug them all and I nearly teared. So glad to see all of us together. After all the mushy-stuff, we went over to Suntec for lunch!! Also searched for some clothes- for serving. haha..it never ends=) On our way there, it was raining badly. Hence we were all under our portable sheltering-equipment, the umbrella. Nicky and Cindy then began their juvenile mischief, the umbrella-fight! You wouldn't believe this. They were both sharing an umbrella, so they tried to un-shelter one another from the rain every 5mins. haha.. Then on our way from the bus-stop to Suntec City Mall, they decided to do something different, and this time it involves me and Rachael. Rachael and I were sharing an umbrella too, but we accidentally hit it against Nicky and Cindy. This is where it begins. Cindy tried to hit back our umbrella, which arose Rachael and me. I was just thinkin in my mind that they were just silly playing, then before I knew it, my umbrella went towards my right and banged against Nicky and Cindy. Nicky got it most, she was poked at her ear and her back. haha.. The fight ended, we won. haha.. Actually I had a part to play in the second part of it. haha..but little did I knew that Nicky wasn't the one who hit us. oh man.. I don't know why am I blogging this anyway. haha..it's like a comical drama.
posted at [6:23 PM]
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Saturday, January 13, 2007
Teething Season Is Challenging & Painful
This has come to pass. There are finally two groups of singers, a Adam and at Paya Lebar. However, why the difference in amount? Why Adam has only 9singers, while Paya Lebar has 14singers! I thought we shouldn't be shortchanging whichever sides, neither Adam nor Paya Lebar. In this way, it'll cause those over at Adam to feel inferior or unimportant to those over at Paya Lebar. The congregation will feel the drop in the level of annointing or essence over at Adam. Perhaps I haven't understand how the plans the systems came out with, neither did I knew the essence of teething. This is probably the start.
Many singers:
Few Singers (zi-High) :
The 9 singers: Arthur, Ellen, ME, Vicky, WeeLing, Stephanie Lai, Tiat Hwee, Irene.
The 14singers: Cindy, Rachael, Nicky, ZhiGuo, Andrew, Doris, Agnus, Gayle, Pris, BigGrace, Samuel, Kevin, Aileen, Step Chan.
However, I'm glad this isn't all confirmed yet, as it's the "trying-out" season. Though it's a little sad on my side. I believe I can be more than a conqueror, to overcome this season.
She's my role-model for the year, Mary Makkena:
Singing alone, with a strong, impactful, soloist voice!!
Here's the video I've been searching for:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqVgulX9ph8
The role of the girl in this video is just like me. All will make sense after you've viewed the video. This is the best video that expresses my feelings. Perhaps there's a better way.
posted at [4:04 PM]
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007
A~Shi~Ra (I will Sing)
A~shi~ra means "I will Sing" in Hebrews. I'll continue to give Him praise no matter what happens. Monday was a complete rush-hour from morning's lecture to evening's training. However, I've conquered the Day.
I was eliminated on Monday, from my Taekwondo Pattern Team. That's where I had lesson two from Sunday. I didn't let my feelings get the better of me. Perhaps it was because I had a total different perspective. Eliminations are parts and parcels of competition. However, what concerns most will be the question "Have I improved? Will I continue to improve further?". 2nods to both the questions. I didn't break down, which I thought I would. Instead, I gave my blessings to the rest of the team mates. I never thought I'd do so. Hence I went home rather late that night, as my team mates treated me to dinner. Perhaps to compensate me for holding back my tears.
The next day, another morning lecture. At the same time, I received a msg from sis.Adeline. She had sky-blue blouse for me to borrow. Thank God. It has been a headache over the dress-codes. Back to lecture. During several morning lectures, I'll be really prone to morning-sickness. This cost me alot. Several times I had to rush to the washroom in the middle of lectures. It's really quite embarrasing at times. There were even times where I spent at whole 30mins in the washroom, when I stepped back into the LT, everybody glanced at me! The 2guys sitting behind me went saying "She's finally back..". oh man, this can't continue.
Thurs' test comes knocking on my window, which I refuses to open. I had only rub the surface. That's not enough. I need endorsements! Black chicken soups, vitamin B, vitamin C, ferous fumarate, redbull, H2O, etc.. Searching, yet not found in my weakness.
posted at [1:03 PM]
Holding Your Memories In The Small Palm of Mine
I'm hiding the memories we had within my being. It brought me forth, echoing your name. I blamed myself so much, for not able to do much. It was left there, the day you left. I can't go back. Now that I'm more sensible, it further breaks my heart. I'll still hear your name echoing as the wind breathes, though you're no longer beside me. However, time isn't much left with. There won't be any problem. We'll still be together eventually; above. I can't turn fantasy into reality. This time I can't decide not to tear, but I can't hold them back. There are certain regrets that are only meant to be kept within one's self. I'm sorry. But I'll still treasure.
I love you grandpa!
posted at [12:50 PM]
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It's a Cycle
I was frustrated with the purchase of dress-code blouses till I broke down on Sunday morning. It was really bad because it was just before we went up on stage to serve. It was then I had to learn how to guard my feelings, and let God take Lordship over my emotions, my will, my feelings, my thoughts, my spirit, etc. When I went up on stage, I couldn't say that I was completely recovered, neither can I say I'm fine. It was Pre-service prayer, so I began to talk to the Lord. In between the that period, Agnus-jie came from behind to pray for me. She also knew what had happened, with regards to the wrong blouse color I've bought the night before. 15mins later, Pre-service prayer has ended. I asked myself whether am I ready to serve? I do not know. It was then I told myself to lay it all down at His feet, and worship Him with totality and wholeness.
The starting of the worship was Praises. It's when we had to smile. It's really hard, and I thought I would look really glum. However, when Pastor Gerald gave the cue to PGC to start worship by having the congregation to give a standing ovation, I began to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord. I found pure-joy! Joy that I can't describe where it came from. Definitely it didn't come from the outcome of buying the wrong color blouse! But it came from the Divine God. It's just something humanity will never be able to comprehend, but we just knew it by faith that it came from God. I asked for His Joy and annointing to fill me, and to remove all distracting issues. Ask, and it'll be given. I asked, and I am given! Pure Joy!
Hence I was able to worship Him with the Joy of the Lord! When we moved on to slow worship, I kept my eyes opened, engaging in the Spirit. However, this time, I was able to fully express my love and feelings to Him while singing with my eyes opened! In the past, I was trying, so it wasn't 100% yet. However, I could really do it now! Thank God. Amazing indeed=)
After serving at Adam 10am service, then we started the mad-rush over to Paya Lebar for our 11.30am service. 6 ladies squeezing into the BigGrace's car, 2 in front (BigGrace the driver and Cindy), 4 at the back (Doris, Step Chan, Rachael & ME). haha... The moment we reached PL (11.05am), we were all fused-up. We rushed up to the 4th floor Chapel and quickly assemble on stage for positioning and also to EQ the choir's voices. Aparently after the mad-rush, our voices creaked and cracked! A number of us squeaked during the EQ (11.10am). It was like "I love You Lord, and I lift my voicee... To worship You, oh my soul rejoice.." Haha.. It's really obvious and so funny. I think it's because of that, the high-standing microphone for the choir fell from the top till it almost hit Doris-jie's head (after the EQ). haha.. The mic probably fainted after hearing our squeaks! That was when HweeSan-jie proclaimed to Uncle Jeff, "Uncle Jeff, this mic bo jia peng (never eat rice).." The choir then burst into a short moment of laughter, in a way to relieve our tiredness after the mad-rush. HweeSan-jie then suddenly exclaimed, "Grace, your hair is abit messy on the top. But I can understand, because you rushed down. haha". Oh man...how can this happen. It's all because of the mad-rush. When we had our 10mins of stand-down (for toilet, comb-hair break) at 11.15am before we get up on stage again at 11.25am to serve, I rushed to the toilet to get my hair "disciplined", and make sure it doesn't "misbehave" again. Then we rushed onto stage again, the moment P.P got up.
It's probably because of the rush that made me so hungry at one point of time while we were still singing. My legs wobbled and hence made my clapping movements seemed "retarded". Anyway, I was standing beside the plant that day, so I guess it wasn't any obvious. This is NOT TRUE till the camera man decided to shoot at my angle. Dratz.. He probably thought in his mind not to miss this ger out of the picture, even she happened to be positioned on the "right-hand" of the plant. Wahaha.. Well, it doesn't matter whether I really looked "awkward" clapping with wobbie hands and feet. It's the Heart of Worship that matters.
Soon service was over and came the time for lunch. It's when we didn't have to squeeze for the first time in the whole day. We got onto BigGrace's car again, and sat so so comfortably. Along the journey to Bishan, we spotted this black car in front of us. BigGrace saw the car's front viewing mirror, and caught a Serious-looking eye. She then told all of us to take a look too, because it looked really like HweeSan-jie's serious looking eyes! Suddenly all of us began to wave at her, seriously thinking it was HweeSan!! It's until our car drove alittle faster till we were on the left of that car, and FOUND OUT IT WASN'T HWEESAN!!!! Ahhhh.. This is SO EMBARASSING! oh man... All of us quickly hid our faces till we drove-past that car. Whoever it is, just treat it as a friendly way of us trying to say "Hi". haha... It's just like the way P.Bea says how we as 3nitarions can be Unique, "Please this way, please that way, and we go Another way..". hahaha!!
I thought we had enough of laughters, but it hasn't ended. During lunch, Cindy shared her experience on bus 74 with Doris and Andrew. haha.. We called it the "Cockroach Episode". One night Cindy, Doris and Andrew boarded the 74 bus from church back home. They sat along a row at the lower-decker of the bus, where passengers on the left of the bus faces those on the right of the bus. Then this 20-odd guy sitting in front of Doris told her, "There's a cockroach in your bag". Doris quickly removed her bag to the floor in the middle of the bus, in between the 2rows. Cindy then questioned her "How is anyone gonna walk now?" Doris just sat there and said she didn't wanna touch it. Cindy then said, "I will never touch it too, Andrew you better do something about it!" haha... That was when the cockroach flew up and landed on Doris's neck (on the back)!!!! She quickly and tactfully swept down the cockroach. Then it started flying all over the bus at where the 2rows are. That was when the roudy teenage girls started screaming, the other ladies screaming and the some senior citizens making noises too. The entire bus was filled with all screams and shouting, because of this "stupid" cockroach!! haha.. It was then it alerted the bus driver, and the bus came to a halt in the middle of the road. just to find out what the Whole commotion was abt. to his amazement, that it was just a cockroach! haha, and he just went back to drive on. haha.. It was then the cockroach stopped flying and crawled in front of that 20-odd guy. This guy then decided to end the commuters' misery. He lifted up his right foot and STEPPED ON IT. The whole bus went silent. No one said a word, no one breathed. Then came Doris, who bent down and checked whether "it" was really dead. haha!
All of us can't believe it! We went laughing really loudly at the Food Court when Cindy was narating the entire scenario. wahaha..
After lunch, we went to search for Sky Blue blouses and Dark Grey pants. That's where the frustration relived itself. Then little did I expect Ellen who decided to buy the Dark Grey pants for me! for free! oh man..I seriously feel alittle paiseh. However, I told her that I will treat her lunch nez Sunday! But thank God that I don't have to wrestle with the thought of where to get that Dark Grey pants anymore.
When I arrived home, I was dead-beat. I couldn't do much but to shower and then sleep. For the nez day will be a whole full day of school followed by taekwondo training.
posted at [2:29 PM]
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Saturday, January 06, 2007
Yield not to Flesh, Yield to Him
I'm probably under the (p+d).m.s. season. I give in so easily to my emotions and achieved the whole reward of misery, anguishness and frustrations. It's a to-no-point state. Anyway, I shall not cling unto any juvenile hope, which have not be acknowledged by God.
However, I sometimes wonder is it really true that ***** can be so ignorant to the situations and the moods. This makes me really pissed-off. The unaccountability, far from my expectation, is even getting on my nerve. Perhaps it's just not the correct "*p*i*n* number" to the "hyper-nating system". The answer both do not know. However, He'll reveal. Soon, I'll see.
Give me a New pair of lenses, and remove the tinted glasses of mine. So I can see a whole new tapestry from the tattered fabric I always see. A whole new perspective and a whole new feeling into 2007.
Last night's prayer, I learnt what this phrase means: when there's weakness, I find strength. I surrender it all, all yielded to Him not to me. I've laid it all down, and let the Best take control. After the prayer meeting, there was a short briefing on January's schedule. It's really sounding hectic and stressful. Especially when there keep having changes in the dress codes, which spells the spurge of money. The Paradox of Thrift doesn't always works here in the city. So more spending doesn't give rise to increase in returns. It's a LIE, ain't any paradox. The rushing down from Adam after serving at 10am on Sunday to Paya Lebar 11.30am service seems really hectic, but it's resolved within 5mins. We'll share transport with driving-singers for the month. However, it's hard for students to keep the purchasing rate going up each month. Sales doesn't really help, because the cash outflow is becoming more significant, and it doesn't offset inflation rate. It's blooming frustrations and planting headaches. God please show us a way.
-The girl who will never be defeated-
posted at [2:57 PM]
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Thursday, January 04, 2007
Sending off Today and Welcoming Tomorrow
We reach the wake at about 8plus this morning. Today marks the day where my grandpa will be cremated at Mandai Crematorium, and will be placed at CCK Columbarium. Though my grandpa has received Christ, but a taoist funeral was insisted. The whole entire chanting, burning of incense, bowing, kneeling, rituals filled the entire atmosphere at the wake. When it was time for the family members, grandchildren, friends to see him for the last round, we walked round the coffin to take a last look and soon tears welled up in my eyes to blur my vision. I told myself not to cry, or else dad will feel even more terrible. I controlled. We then march behind the van which had his coffin inside. My dad being the 2nd son, pushed the van together with my uncle. There begins the outbreak of weeping from my aunts to my cousins, and me.. I tried my best to keep it silent and not outburst it. I was also praying for strength and for His presence to comfort the family. I was desperate, I started speaking in tongues, without thinking who was around me. At the crematorium, the same series of chanting, bowing, etc before we enter the Viewing Hall to see the sending of the coffin into for cremation. As the coffin moved slowly on the auto-machine into for cremation, there was like a silent outburst of emotions and weeping. No longer could I hold back any tears, they just poured out relentlessly.
After the entire ceremony, we went back to the wake at the void-deck and had our lunch. There came another round of tension and stuff. However, all is over for now. My grandpa is certainly happy with Jesus, in heaven 24/7 enjoying God's presence. He'll be really fine. So no need to be so sad about. REJOICE with him in the Lord!!
Tommorow will be a long day. Lessons in the morning, and payments for examination applications of my external programme to University of London. There's just an abundance of opportunities for payments after payments which seems like a flood that never ends. This is draining the limited finances of the family, which seems there'll be a deficit soon. I don't know, but I can only trust God. He'll bring in to provide for us. Afterwhich, the evening will be our first CPM in 2007 held at Adam, though this weekend's services will be available at PL and Adam. That reminds me that we've yet to receive Paul's email regarding the CMs schedule for the month, the dress code for the different weekends and where the different singers and musicians will be allocated (PL or Adam). So much anticipation and so much to wait for ahead. It's gonna be a great year ahead! Look Forward!!
posted at [1:49 PM]
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Wednesday, January 03, 2007
::::The Days Of The Days::::
These days are really busy days for me at my grandpa's wake. It's agonising and it's moody. However, I remembered on New Year's Day, the entire family saw this Rainbow up in the sky at the wake. I can sense that grandpa is happy with Jesus! I can also feel God's love and His abundant grace so significantly present.
I'm also falling ill these days, with flu and cold. It must be from the freezing aircon at Watchnight. Many singers caught it too, after that night. Haha.. Bring the suggestions in. *pss*
I'm so grateful to my cell who came yesterday to my grandpa's wake. It also tells me that i've to learn alot. Mr.Alfred Chan came and asked me where does he give the "bei kim". I didn't know what he meant and I asked him: "what's "bei kim"?" oh man..and he told me it's a gift of money for the funeral. I then found out from my dad that "bei kim" means "white gold". oops.. Later when my relatives asked for his name to be written under the record book, haha..they couldn't spell Alfred. It's indeed a cool name!
They were really warm, and spent an hour there talking and prayed for me. I'm really thankful that God has provided me many guiders along my path in CMs and along my transition from IGNYTE over to CMs=) Also the singers are always very supportive and encouraging! That's something very unique about CMs! We're UNITED!
Tomorrow, which is Thurs, will be the day where my grandpa will be sent off to cremation. I'm really sad of his leaving. I wept late in the nights, hoping no one (esp my dad) could notice. However, only my sister knows. And I was blamed to be disturbing her as well.. Anyway, I should stay cheerful and strong! all the way Grace!!
posted at [1:09 PM]
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007
::from Christmas to New Year to The Now::
Christmas was really fun and cool. The singers, we were serving in our Red, Lime Green, Turquoise blouses. We were so so much closer to the congregation that 25th Dec. The cameraman is one scary feature then. He went REALLY CLOSE to you, and the nez moment you can see your closed-up-face on the screen. It's because of that, a few of us forgot the lyrics, and got disturbed by him. And my smile disappeared into the glass piece of the camera. Besides the camera issue, all else was fine during serving. More or less i've learnt and improved what it takes to serve: being spiritually prepared, staying healthy, where to look, how to warm up to prevent those hoarse noises, etc.
Here are some pics from Christmas:
This pic was taken on a Sunday, on Christmas Eve, when we were not serving but celebrating. haha.. This pink doggie was made by dear MinMin, and Rachael & i were trying to "bang" it..
This is Rachael, ME, and Leroy. We're pretty hungry..surely.
This was taken after we served on Christmas Day itself!! There's Rachael, Agnus, Nicky & Cindy
Here's ME, BigGrace (cuz im smallGrace), Rachael, Agnus, Nicky, Cindy & Ellen above..haha
This is Rachael, Agnus Jie and ME=) the three beauties..
These are the happy times during Christmas season.
After a week at the chalet, came the night for WatchNight. I was really excited the moment I woke up at 5.30am to serve for the morning services at Adam. It was really cool wearing jackets to serve for the first time. Till after the first service, while we were about to go for our breakfast before the 2nd service, I received a sms. My grandfather passed away.
At that moment while I was walking down the stairs at the backstage, I paused and I froze. Then I turned back up to the auditorium. My mind was in a whirl. I don't know who I should speak to and what should I be saying. Then I saw Mr.Alfred Chan. I whispered to him, "My grandfather has passed away." And i merely showed him the entire sms. I couldn't think properly at that time. He then asked if I had to leave now, and I felt I should. So he went to inform Paul, while I went over to Linda DaJie. Jasmine jie was there too. I was really rude cuz I wasn't thinkin, I cut in the middle of their conversation and said "Linda, I wanna go home now.." Linda was shocked and asked why, I just blurted out that my grandpa has passed away. By then Rachael was also in a daze of what was happening. I didn't know how to tell her as well. Then I started to tear alittle, at then I was still able to control my emotions, not only till Linda prayed for me. After she prayed I wept and wept like nobody's business. I didn't even feel the need to hide. Anyway service was over and there were pretty few people to see my embarrassment. Then almost all the singers came over and comforted me. I really thank God for them, to support me and gave me comfort at this point of grieving. They're really warm and sweet. I don't know how long I took to cry, but definitely not so so long. I'm sorry that they had lesser time to eat before the 2nd service. But i'm really grateful for them. Thank God.
Anyway, my grandpa received Christ 2weeks before he left. Salvation is the most important above the funeral matters. Becoz my relatives insist on a Taoist funeral instead of a Christian one. I've been to the wake these days. It isn't a good place to be. Especially when the in-laws aren't on good term with us, and at the state of mourning which makes tension grew alot more. However, I'm praying for God's hands to be upon everyone, and to bring His peace and harmony into the family. Also for His intervention into the certain matters.
My cell will most prob be there on Tues. I'm really grateful for them. Thanks to Charlotte JieJie, Mr.Alfred Chan, Lydia, ZiYu, YaoShen, Jaclyn who supported me in the many ways: a thoughtful sms, words of comfort, consistent prayers, etc.
posted at [12:17 AM]
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